Istrians Decide

Istrians Decide: Immigrants Import Homeland Rivalries

The Issue

After a series of bloody wars between the nations of Maxtopia and North Bigtopia, fights have broken out in the streets between immigrants in Istrians who came from the warring nations.

The Debate

1. “Foreigners are a major cause of civil disturbances,” begins Buy Li, whose opinions form the book ‘101 Arguments FOR Slavery’. “What we should do is make all immigrants, foreigners, and non-native Istrians folks slaves! I mean, who in Istrians wouldn’t like a minority slave group to do his bidding? Imagine! People could be bought and sold over the Internet!”
2. “I am shocked and appalled at what my colleague is suggesting!” exclaims Sue-Ann Jefferson, President of the Civil Rights Union of Istrians. “Slavery? We should punish these offenders, yes, but send them to rehabilitation centres instead! As for the ethnic squabbles, programs in school should begin to stop these racist attitudes in childhood! All it will take is some slight fortification to the education budget!”
3. A quiet old man stands up to speak. “Now, I may be a quiet old man, but I believe that these ethnic disputes are none of the government’s business. It’s not our war anyway, so it’s not our problem. I’m sure if you leave it alone, it’ll work itself out. Just think of the money that would be saved if the police don’t have to be paid to deal with this!”
4. “It’s not our war? It’s not our war?” cries (in)famous Istrians-born fascist Roxanne Jong-Il. “Well maybe it’s time it became our war! Istrians should take a more active, and by ‘active’ I mean ‘hostile’, role in international politics! This ethnic squabbling will be over when the war is over, and WE can end that war and purge the impure! Harmony in symphony! Sieg Istrians!”

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Istrians Decide: Economic Collapse Looms!

The Issue

Big business, fed up with over-regulation in Istrians, are heading offshore in ever-increasing numbers.

The Debate

1. “Good riddance!” says noted environmentalist Steffan du Pont. “Sniff that air! It’s never been so clean! At last, our society is freeing itself from the consumer death-trap! I say it’s time to take the final step and outlaw capitalism once and for all!”
2. “This is a catastrophe waiting to happen,” says the Chamber of Commerce. “Think of the consequences! Without big business, where do the jobs come from? Where do we get our medicine? Our cars? Our latest fashions? There are dozens of useless regulations the government could abolish today to make life easier for commerce, and it’s high time they did.”

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

Istrians Decide: Military Demands Increased Spending

The Issue

The Department of Defense has put its case for a substantial increase in funding for the coming financial year.

The Debate

1. “These are turbulent times we live in,” says Defense Chief Hope Licorish. “Turbulent and dangerous. And the only sensible response to that, of course, is to build a lot more weapons. Unless we get the funding we need, I can’t promise that we’ll be able to defend Istrians’s sovereign borders from rogue nations and foreign powers. Or those leaky boatloads of refugees, for that matter.”
2. “NO MORE BOMBS,” chant the protestors outside Parliament House, in a repetitious and increasingly annoying appeal. Spokesperson Elizabeth Washington, speaking through a feedback-afflicted microphone, says, “Istrians needs fewer weapons, not more! Make the world a safer place! Disarm now!”

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Istrians Decide: Uranium Deposit Promises To Enrich Istrians

The Issue

Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Istrians’s south-west.

The Debate

1. “This is a terrific find!” claims Nukes4U CEO Jean-Paul Rifkin. “It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It’s win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that’s on top of the deposit.”
2. “You’ve got to be kidding,” says Green politician Sue-Ann Clinton. “This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs–well, that really sticks in my craw.” 
3. “There’s no need for an either-or decision,” says the government’s Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. “We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Istrians.”

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Istrians Decides: Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill

Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.
The Debate

1. Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a “Dying with Dignity” bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.
2. “I understand this is a very difficult time for these people,” says freelance medical writer Colin Bush. “But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia.”
3. “I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia,” says Bishop Jean-Paul Broadside. “The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God’s divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

Istrians Decides: Reclaim The Streets!

Several major city streets were clogged with bicycles this morning, as the environmental group ‘Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad’ staged a protest. Several hundred riders ambled through downtown streets, blissfully ignoring the torrent of abuse hurled at them by thousands of motorists running late for work.
The Debate

1. “People are sick of dirty, smelly automobiles,” said protest organizer Jazz Dodinas. “They’re choking the city, the environment–our lives! Cars must be banned!”
2. “The only thing people are sick of is long-haired idiots riding their bicycles at two miles an hour on major thoroughfares,” says committed motorist Klaus Trax. “People shouldn’t be able to protest like this. The government needs to crack down on them.”
3. The Automotive Manufacturers Association, meanwhile, has called for government support. “It’s clear that we need to boost the level of automobile support in this country. This protest this morning is a clear indication of… um… anyway, we need more government funds.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

On the golden path of Socialism !

It’s official, the UN characterises our regim as Democratic Socialist. In addition, it seems our Civil Rights have decreased to good, and our Economy rating to weak.

The Commonwealth is now renowned for its punitive income tax rates of 51%, and even higher for the wealthy.

Our compassionate population of 40 million is fiercely patriotic and enjoys great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home, and organ donation rates have hit a new low. Crime is totally unknown.

Istrians is ranked 30th (out of 62) in the region and 29,274th (out of 72,700) in the world for Most Beautiful Environments.

Istrians Decide

Istrians Decides: Cash for Colons?

The Issue
Hospitals have requested that they be allowed to pay people for donating blood and other bodily organs, such as kidneys.
The Debate

1. “We remain critically short of blood plasma and various organs,” says Istrians One hospital administrator Calvin Gutenberg. “Especially hearts. A good heart is hard to find. But if we were allowed to pay for donations, we’d get more of them and could save more lives. Plus the donor takes home a few hundred Energy credits in compensation. Unless it’s a post-mortem donation, of course. In that case we’d pay the family.”
2. “Great idea,” says social commentator Abraham Wu. “Except for one thing. You know who’s going to be selling their organs? Poor people! They’ll be so desperate for money that they’ll sell their own kidneys. Well, a kidney. This is just another way for the rich to buy themselves a better life at the expense of the poor. It must be outlawed.” 

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Istrians Decides: Aurochs On The Dinner Table?

The Issue
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Istrians’s Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that aurochs could be added to the menu.
The Debate

1. “The fact is, the auroch population is out of control,” says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson Colin Jong-Il. “We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have auroch kebabs, auroch pies, auroch-on-a-sticks–the possibilities are endless! Let’s not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy.”
2. “I agree that something needs to be done about auroch over-population,” says random passer-by Jennifer Nagasawa, “but eating them? That’s kind of gross. Let’s just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal.”
3. “I am shocked and appalled!” declared SPCA President Chastity Jones. “If anyone needs to be culled, it’s us humans. The aurochs were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry–agriculture in particular–to back off. The auroch is part of what makes Istrians a great nation!”This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.

Istrians Decides: Book Publishing Workers Strike!

The Issue
Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Book Publishing industry.
The Debate

1. “We are the backbone of this country, and we demand a fair wage rise!” says union leader Pete Jones. “I don’t think a 20% increase over two years is too much to ask. Unless the government forces employers to give us our due, we’ll shut this whole industry down! Let’s see how well Istrians’s economy manages without any Book Publishing, huh?”
2. “We pay our employees very generous wages,” says employer representative Abraham King. “Especially when you consider that without us, they’d be OUT ON THE STREET. Hear that, you scumbags? OUT ON THE STREET! Anyway, my point is, if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive. You can’t do that in the global marketplace. It’ll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking, would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

Istrians Decides: Where’s The Love Gone?

The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show “60 Minutes” ran a report on Istrians’s rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?
The Debate

1. “There’s a simple solution,” says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. “Divorce should be illegal. ‘For better or worse,’ anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be.”
2. John Black, author of the hit book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,’ has a simpler solution. “If couples would just call each other ‘darling’ once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse ‘darling’ at least once a day, or face a fine.”
3. “There’s a simple way to boost the marriage rate,” says gay rights activist Hope Shiomi. “Abolish those arcane laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It’s obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Istrians Decides: Istrians Awash With Red-Rimmed Eyes

The Issue
National marijuana consumption has hit an all-time high, with alarming results, a new poll has found.
The Debate

1. “My factory’s productivity is down ten percent since marijuana was decriminalized,” complains employer Miranda Jones. “And the number of thefts from the candy machine is off the scale. This so-called ‘pot’ needs to be banned in all public places. Let the junkies do what they want at home, but not in my workplace.”
2. “Whoa, dude, no need to get, like, you know,” says Free Your Mind campaigner Freddy Barry, from his parents’ basement. “This is, like, a personal choice issue, you know. It’s like… whoa, just back off what I want to do with my own body. Don’t let the fascists win, man. There are some hot new eckies coming in soon, they should be legal too.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

Recent developements

“The Commonwealth of Istrians is a large, socially progressive nation. Its hard-working population of 36 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often. ”

According to the UN, “The Commonwealth of Istrians is a “Inoffensive Centrist Democracy”, characterized by very good Civil Rights (the previous rating was “average”) , good Economy and below average Political Freedoms (the previous rating was “rare”) .”

Istrians is ranked 20th (out of 62) in the region and 23,979th (out of 72,840)  in the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.

Our nation received 6 UN Endorsements from it’s region.

Istrians Decides: People Request Not So Much Dictatorship, If That’s All Right

While effusively praising Istrians’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future.

The Debate

1. The High Minister for Finance, who also happens to be your brother, dismisses the claim. “What these people fail to realize is that you know what’s best for them. The alternative is anarchy! I say stick to your course. And execute these wackos for treason.”
2. “Perhaps the people could be given some more political freedoms,” muses your Chief of Staff, who is your sister. “Is there really such harm in allowing public discussion of ideas? We could even have a real Opposition Party. One that isn’t just full of your puppets, I mean.”
   

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

A strong NO to corporate power

According to UN rankings, The Commonwealth is ranked 52nd in the region (out of 61) and 58,966th in the world (out of 73033) for Most Subsidized Industry. The istrian anti-corporate and consumer-protection stance is clearly having an impact, our regional ranking on the fifth quintile in the top of the nations that spend large amounts of money subsidizing their businesses (a practice known as “corporate welfare”) sending a powerful message on the type of society that we endorse.

Another good news is that the black market of Arms Manufacturing has been stamped out, being replaced by the old and harmless Cheese Exports black market.

Also, the average income tax rate has grown to 46%  and our nation’s population to 8 million. Scientists have began regularly cloning of human beings for research purposes.

Istrians Decides: Cloning Research Promises New Breakthrough

Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.

The Debate

1. “It’s really very exciting,” says lab head Klaus Jefferson. “Until now, we’ve kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it’s wrong to clone human embryos. It’s too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work.”
2. “Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I’m a lunatic,” says placard-waving protestor Freddy Hendrikson. “Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They’re messing with the sanctity of human life. It’s wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

In other news
The UN has lowered the assessment of our Civil Rights to “average” as it acknowledged that organ donation in the Commonwealth is compulsory.

Istrians Decides: Compulsory Organ Harvesting Proposed

A group of emergency room doctors has petitioned the government to introduce mandatory organ donations.

The Debate

1. “It’s not as crazy as it sounds,” says Dr. Fleur McAlpin. “Every day, people die because we don’t have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it’s not like dead people need them.”
2. “You keep your damn hands off my organs!” says alarmed hospital patient Alexei Love. “They are my organs, and I’ll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

Compassion at a coast

According to the UN, our population, witch has grown to  7 million, has became increasingly compassionate. On the downside, the average income tax rate continues it’s growth, to 45%.

Nudity is frowned upon, and meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy (well, as long as there’s no really wealthy or poor people, that’s pretty fair).

Our country has moved into a new region – Romania, where it is ranked 26th (out of 60) for Most Rebellious Youth. In the world The Commonwealth occupies the 34,919th place (out of 73017). We are no longer considered a tiny nation, but a small one.

Istrians Decides: Animal Liberation Front Strikes Again

The increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs.

The Debate

1. “These nuts have got to be stopped,” demands concerned consumer Miranda Clinton. “They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance.”
2. “These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue,” pleads Melbourne Hendrikson. “Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I’m sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn’t we?”
3. “Animals have feelings too!” yelled protester Clint Mombota, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. “Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!”
4. Economist Klaus Hendrikson has an alternative. “You don’t need to take away the people’s right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn’t be able to afford meat, but that’s just more incentive for them to get jobs.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 4.

Further Statement
The reasons behind this decision range from population health, condemning of animal cruelty, affirmation of the rights of animals to anti-consumerism. The government considers that limiting the access to animal products on the basis of income is inequitable. As we agree that the social and ecological coast should be added to prices and economical indicators, thus limiting excesses, the Commonwealth will assure that the differences between the lowest and highest income in our society will be reasonable. Thus, the limitations based on social and ecological coasts, will not privilege a social class.

Istrians vote for the UN Fairness and Equality Act

Fairness and Equality Act

A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights

Strength: Significant

Proposed by: SchutteGod

AFFIRMING the right of all people not to be targeted for abuse or discrimination based upon their gender, sexual orientation, or religious or cultural background;

RECOGNIZING the need for effective international anti-discrimination measures and additional protections for women and members of minority groups;

REGRETTING that Resolution #99: Discrimination Accord, while outlawing discriminatory practices by nations, may be interpreted as a prohibition of discrimination by governments only, while excluding discrimination by private groups, individuals and employers;

SEEKING to address the failures of past legislation in the area of human rights, much of which has been repealed on the grounds of ineffectiveness;

NOTING past affirmations of national prerogative on marriage and criminal-sentencing laws, somewhat limiting the scope of this remit;

Hereby enacts the following:

1. Unfair and unreasonable discrimination in employment, housing, education or access to services provided to the general public shall be prohibited by all member states, including discrimination based on a person’s gender, race, ethnicity, nationality, skin color, language, economic or cultural background, physical/mental disability or condition, age, religion or belief system, sexual orientation or gender orientation;

2. Unprovoked violence against or intimidation of any person on previously stated grounds shall be a civil and criminal offense in all member states;

3. Nothing in this article shall be construed as to deny additional or stronger protections against discrimination and abuse already enacted by member states.

Votes For: 3,337

Votes Against: 1,458

Istrians Decides: Nudists Demand Time In Sun

A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as “Let It All Hang Out” has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate

1. “For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!” yelled protester Falala Mombota, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. “We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body–my choice to dangle!”
2. “I agree,” mused sociology professor Prudence Barry. “But I don’t think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn’t be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting “Hooters” out of business once and for all.”
3. “Whoa, whoa,” says noted accountant Sue-Ann Jones. “Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I’m out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!”
   

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.

UN Application Successful

The Commonwealth of Istrians has been accepted into the hallowed halls of the United Nations! Our nation is ranked 1199th in the region (out of 3734) and 24293rd in the world (out of 72907) for Largest Agricultural Sector.

Also, the UN has reevaluated the status of the Civil Rights in the Commonwealth, and found it to have improved to “good”.

The population has increased to 6 million.

Education and Healthcare are now secondary priorities of the government, second only to Social Welfare.

The average income tax rate is still growing, reaching 42%.

In other news, the black market of Cheese Exports has collapsed, being replaced by a far more troubling  Arms Manufacturing black market.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, against the best-judgement of the government, but in accordance to it’s position towards religious censorship.

Istrians Decides: Harry Potter Censorship Row

The latest “Harry Potter” book to hit schools across Istrians has stirred up the greatest controversy yet.

The Debate

1. “I quite enjoyed the book, until I got to the part where Harry summons evil demons to do his bidding,” says religious leader Jennifer Mistletoe. “Now that’s just wrong. We need to restore some sense to this debate, by which I mean we should remove this book from the shelves, salt it thoroughly, and burn it.”
2. Teachers union President Al Hendrikson says, “Come on, the book is fantasy! And it’s a damn good read. I’d like the government to issue a statement of support for our teachers and librarians, so kids can enjoy good books without interference from religious wackos, like Christians.”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

Further Statement
The government considers that banning “Harry Potter” could be a good choice, just not for that particular reason. It’s banning would be appropriate as a consequence to it’s poor artistic quality and consumerist intent.

Increeses in taxation and reform of the electoral system

The average income tax rate has grown to 41% and voting is now compulsory.

Also, according to international reviews, it is now difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins.

Istrians Decide: Should Democracy Be Compulsory?

In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate

1. “Compulsory voting makes about as much as sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide,” says civil rights activist Jennifer Winters. “You can’t force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can’t be bothered to get off their ass once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think.”
2. “It’s not contradictory at all,” argues political commentator Larry Washington. “The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn’t truly representative. Some groups–like elderly gun nuts–vote more often than others. That’s why we always end up with such terrible politicians.”
3. “This raises an interesting issue,” says Johann Wu, your brother. “And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn’t that save everyone a lot of time?”

The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

The Commonwealth of Istrians is founded !

The Commonwealth of Istrians is a tiny, environmentally stunning  nation, remarkable for its strong anti-business politics, devotion to social welfare and its complete lack of prisons. It is a safe and devout  nation, in accordance to it’s motto – “Harmony in symphony”.

Its hard-working, cynical population of 5 million are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government – a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass – devotes most of its attentions to Social Welfare, with areas such as Law & Order and Education receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 40%. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Cheese Exports.

Crime is well under control. Istrians’s national animal is the auroch, which frolics freely in the nation’s many lush forests, and its currency is the Energy credit. Currency is almost never used in day to day business, having more of an statistical purpose. The value of commodities is measured by the energy allocated for production to which social and ecological costs are added. The istrian society is mostly a post-materialist one.

According to the UN, The Commonwealth of Istrians is a “father knows best state”, characterized by average Civil Rights, good Economy and rare Political Freedoms.